My 15 year old son is growing out his hair.
As a cool dude, he calls it “The flow.”
Yeah, I’m just not that cool. I still call it growing your hair out. When I’m trying to be cool, I refer to it as his “flow”. 🙂
With it being so short, growth becomes a much longer process. It takes time. He doesn’t want to wait.
Neither do I.
I mean seriously, it seems like every day we’re looking in the mirror and I find myself telling him that he has at least six months until he can do half of what he wants with this style.
But we have to wait. This growth thing takes time, patience and he has to work with what he’s got so he can enjoy what he has until the time comes when his “flow” gets to where he wants it. I mean, come on, it could be worse, he could be bald right? So an awkward part of the growing phase will inevitably be worth it.
He knows it. But he reminds himself everyday it will be worth it.
Perhaps today you are growing and you just want to hurry and get to that new level of growth. I want to share three things I know to be true about growth.
1. Growth is a process.
Growth is just that. Growth. We don’t just show up tomorrow and it’s done. It takes time. And because of time, we have the ability to watch our growth, to reflect on where we are, where we’re heading and how far we’ve come.
2. There is something new in every stage of the process. Let’s learn to appreciate the process no matter what it looks or feels like.
During the process things will change, for my boy Micah, there will be different looks. Some might be cool and fun, and some might be ugly (and uncomfortable to be seen).
Micah will be sporting different styles and looks over the next year as he grows his hair out. So he will be able to see how far he’s come. And although it’s only been about two months ago that he made the decision, we can already see how far he’s come. Right now, he’s not really appreciating this stage of the growth process because some parts of his hair look out of sorts. They aren’t looking like he wanted them to. But he has to be patient and know it’s all a part of the process.
3. During the process there will be a need for a trim or two.
In order to keep the hair healthy and growing in the right direction, Micah will need to have a few hair appointments for a trim. Some parts will continue to be trimmed (his sideburns and the hair on his neck) but some parts will need completely reshaped.
In order for your growth to develop in a healthy manner, there will be things that you don’t want to let go of that will need to be cut out of your life in order to get to the next level of growth. There will be naysayers and people who don’t want you to grow because people don’t like change– no matter how positive. That’s rooted in fear based thinking. You don’t need that. Those around you who love and support you will encourage you and not feed you negativity.
The people and things that are feeding negativity into your positive growth, well, they need to be trimmed out of your life. Not necessarily permanently, but just for the time being. I suggest “redefining” the relationship until you are able to revisit it once you are though this growth spurt.
Some people don’t understand growth and want no part of it. Some simply aren’t strong enough for the process. Some people don’t want to put in the discipline and the work. So you have to surround yourself with people who understand what it takes for growth, the discipline, the sacrifice and the strength. You want people around you who will support your growth.
My son has plenty of people who are telling him things like:
“Don’t grow your hair out it will look dumb!”
“What are you thinking?”
“It’s going to look horrible on you!”
When he told me what some people said I was like “Oh No you didn’t just say that to my son!” But then I realize, him being exposed to this negativity will help him grow his character. So what started out as hair growth, has now evolved into character and adversity growth.
Of course I want him to be surrounded by encouragers. And for the most part he is. He goes to a great school with some incredible kids and awesome teachers/staff (((((Shout out to the BEES!))))). But there’s always a few haters in the bunch.. and often those few haters tend to be the loudest and their voices have a way of drowning out the voices of the elevators (those encouragers that lift others up).
He’s grown up being taught to think independently, make his own decisions with conviction and stand by them. Ignore the haters and focus on the elevators. And of course we want him to be an elevator for others as well.
He’s choosing to ignore those negative voices and listen instead to the ones that are saying:
“Dude, that’s going to look so cool!”
“You know the girls love soccer players with long hair.”
“I think it’s awesome you’re trying something new!”
In the end, it will be worth it. Anything of value takes time and dedication. If it didn’t, anyone could have what we’re all working toward. But only a few will actually put in the effort it takes to grow.
So hold your head up high and keep pushing toward growth. Your “flow” is going to be phenomenal once you’re there. You’re going to have so many more options to style it and it’s going to be a fun look.
And then, after time, it will be time to switch it up and try something else new! <3
Maybe today, as you read this, you are so worn out and tired you can’t even begin to think about growth. You’ve been pouring everything you’ve got into helping others grow and be the best they can be and you’re left feeling empty.
I want to invite you to join me Monday through Friday next week (13th- 17th) daily at 2:30 EST. I will be doing a 15-20 minute online retreat to help you learn how to fill yourself up. So you can give what’s BEST of you and not just what’s LEFT of you.
If you want to join me for this online retreat, register HERE and be sure to “like” my page on FB at Holly Mutlu- Fresh, Fearless & Free . Then just show up to my biz page daily at 2:30pm and you can join me in this fabulous online retreat!