She asked her hubby for a pair of black boots… and this is what she got!

Valentine’s day is coming up. 

Your man is trying to figure out something special to get you… yes, even if he calls it a “Hallmark Holiday”.. he wants to make you happy!

Wanna make sure you get what you really want?

Then keep reading sister!   (After spending years counseling with many couples, this is a typical scenario  you can learn from).

Just roll with me girl…

You say to your man “I want a pair of black boots. In your head you have an image of a simple pair of comfy black Uggs all warm and cozy for the February cold.

Now your hubby hears “black boots” and the visual that pops in his head looks much different.  He gets excited about black boots thinking all sexy.

He goes looking for a pair of black, patent leather, platform, thigh high boots and he’s like “BAM! Daddy gonna get lucky tonight.. I got her the boots she wants and she’s gonna look fine!

He proudly brings you the box. His excitement builds with anticipation as you open them.

You either:

a) Force a smile out while gritting your teeth and stumble to get out two small words “thank you.”

b) Your face goes from smiles to crap and you  express your frustration through a few choice words to let him know how bad he messed up.

c) You laugh it off and give him an a for effort and wear those boots to bed that night!

Legit- let’s be honest… most of us are A or B.

You’re sitting there with a gift you didn’t want and you’re frustrated because he didn’t listen and he should’ve known what you wanted.  “If he loved me, he would know what I want!” Because love doesn’t need communication– Love can read minds (sarcasm implied!).  Yeah right!

NEWSFLASH!   

Mind reading is not a gauge for love.

Come on now ladies you know there are so many different types of black boots to choose from.

  • Comfy black boots like Uggs (non sexual touch)
  • Cute leather knee high boots with no heal (help around the house or with the kids)
  • Black rain boots (you need him to listen when you’re frustrated)
  • Black suede wedge booties (kind words of encouragement and appreciation).
  • Then of course there are the black patent leather, platform thigh high boots (can we say passion?)… if he has given you every one of the boots above.. you’re gonna love those sexy boots when you open that box!

Yet you only said “black boots”.   How could he know what you were talking about when there are so many different options.

So now you’re sitting there holding the boots he picked out… that he thought you wanted.   He had high hopes for this gift because after all, it’s exactly what you asked for right?  But you’re on the verge of tears because he does this with everything.

Want to avoid this frustration?
Sister— let me teach ya how to set your man up for success!

Tell him what you want and need! It doesn’t matter how much he loves you, he can’t read your mind. So give him every.single.detail. Which style, heal, size, color and brand of boots you want. Tell him how much they are, hand him a coupon. Give him the name of the store and what isle it’s in.

Write that stuff down. Text it to him.

If that seems like too much work. You’re still able to EASILY set him up for success. Email him the amazon link so he can order it online.

When you do this for your hubby, he is going to feel like he is a champion. He is going to feel like your hero. Your knight in shining armor! He will be fueled by the fact that he just made you happy.

HE GOT IT RIGHT!  

Do you know what a HUGE deal it is that he got something right?  And with this, comes a boost of confidence– he brought you joy and he will want to do it again.

Go ahead try it girl.  See what happens.  He will get it right.

Then….

I dare you to ask him what kind of shoes he wants. 

Let’s say he says sneakers.

When it comes to dudes and their shoes, it’s so simple. 

There are only two kinds of sneakers he will probably want. Cross trainers (respect— that covers just about everything) or high tops (sex— he loves playing in the bedroom). If your husband is like most men and you show up with either one of those, he is going to be a happy, satisfied husband.   You show up with both?    You’ll not only get your boots, but you’re going to have a closet full of heals, sneakers, slides, flip flops.. you name it you’ll have it

So give it a try.. set your man up for success. When it comes to what you need (emotionally, physically and relationally), tell him what you want and need. You will both benefit from it.

PS- To the man reading this, if your wife cares enough to do this for you…When she tells you what she wants/needs emotionally, physically and relationally.. give her a little extra. Trust me, she’ll be out buying you sneakers soon after! 😉

 

For information on relationship coaching, visit hollymutlu.com/light-couples